How to Be a Great Boss to New Parents
By Helen van Orton, mother of four children, professional director and corporate leader
Returning to work after each of my four children was a different experience every time. Whether it was a new job, a new boss, or just picking up where I had left off - it was a challenge and every bit of support made a difference.
In a nutshell, the ideal boss for returning parents makes the effort to understand their employee’s personal situation and creates an environment where they can be successful. If I were to blend the best of every experience I had with those I’ve seen demonstrated in NZ’s top workplaces I would break it down into these few fundamental and replicable actions.
While your employee is on parental leave
Ask your employee: Some people like to be kept in the loop while they’re on leave and others want to step away from work altogether. You can tailor how you keep in touch with your employee and Joyous has shared a handy list of questions to run through here to help you do just that.
Utilise keeping-in-touch days: In New Zealand, employees can do 64 hours or less of paid work for their employer during their 26-week paid parental leave period (any more than that, the government considers them to have returned to work and will cease parental leave payments). This can be a good way to include employees on parental leave in company events, team days and big announcements while giving them a bit of extra cash. Just wait at least 28 days after the baby has arrived to comply with the legislation and make it clear that these invites are optional.
Give credit where credit is due: Your employee should be part of any regular performance and pay reviews while they’re on parental leave. If the market rate for their role has increased or they did an outstanding job prior to going on parental leave, their compensation should reflect this.
One month before they are due to return to work
Touch base: This is a great time to organise a catch-up to discuss how you can support their return to work. There are many practical things they will need to plan, such as childcare, schedules and budgeting. The more clarity and flexibility you can give them, the easier their transition and the more productive they will be.
Be flexible: After years of lockdowns and remote working, most companies are open-minded about flexibility, whether it’s where people work, or how they make their day work to get the job done. For parents, this could mean a staggered return to work to enable a trial run and iron out any kinks and to ensure children are settled at childcare. More and more companies also offer a 4-day week or shorter work days (at full pay), either as a temporary or permanent arrangement.
Also check if they will be pumping so you can create a safe, inclusive space to express (and refrigerate) milk if needed
The day they return
Be empathetic: After weeks or months spent entirely focused on their family and little one(s), going back to work can be incredibly daunting and a shock to the system.
Whether it’s guilt, excitement, sadness, worry, or a combination - the emotions are real for any parent returning to work. Being an empathetic and present leader will help to build your employee’s confidence and commitment.
Have a dedicated one-on-one catch-up on the day of their return. The best thing you can do is to connect and listen.
In the first week of their return
Reconnect: Being part of a team is one of the most rewarding aspects of work. Make sure parents receive the warm, comforting welcome back they deserve. Perhaps it’s a callout in a team meeting. I’ve seen some do a public shout-out on LinkedIn to welcome team members back from parental leave. If that’s appropriate it can be a really sharp way of acknowledging their contribution. And if a public acknowledgement doesn’t work for your employee, a little cake goes a long way!
In the first month of their return
Manage your expectations and theirs: Being away from the office for a prolonged period (even just for a holiday) can make you forget all those acronyms and project names. Not to mention when you’ve missed the last few months of changes.
This is significantly more challenging after coming back from parental leave and the brain fuzz (or sleep deprivation brain) is real. Be the boss who understands that it takes a while to get back up to speed and don’t expect miracles on day one. Be clear about expectations and timeframes and if your structure allows it, make an offer of a mentor or support person for first-time returning parents.
Have a dedicated career conversation: Their career aspirations may have changed whilst they’ve been away. They may be looking for new and exciting projects, or just wanting to return to familiar work. But you won’t know unless you ask. Understand what they want so you can structure their role to meet the business needs, and theirs.
Keep communication lines open: If you’re not in the habit already, set up weekly one-on-one meetings, at least for the first couple of months. This is an opportunity for them to share their challenges and for you to understand them. Make those moments an important part of your day. Don’t do other jobs during this time, don’t shift the meeting or cut it short and don’t make them about work to be done - these sessions should be about the employee doing them. Remind your employee that it’s ok to speak up about challenges, adjustments and issues. This means concerns are more likely to get raised and resolved rather than ignored.
On an ongoing basis
Focus on delivery: Be clear about output and expectations. Help them prioritise their workload and allow them to decide how best to manage their new routine of work and children.
Celebrate the wins: Many returning parents feel major impostor syndrome, doubting their ability to do the job and manage home life, and in some cases, questioning their decision to come back. Giving positive feedback and acknowledging their contributions will build trust, improve their effectiveness, and cultivate an environment where they will be successful.
Be respectful of their time: Consider family commitments when scheduling meetings or sending emails out of hours. Ask your team what the most challenging times of day are and encourage them to block out family time in their calendars so those times can’t be booked over. I’d encourage full transparency here - lead the way by showing when you’re not available to work.
The last word
Every boss has a responsibility to ensure the workplace creates a positive environment for people to return to. Not only is it the right thing to do - you also need to engage and retain employees for your organisation to be successful. Assisting a parent’s transition back into the workplace will build loyalty, improve effectiveness and most importantly, create happier and more engaged employees. And it won’t do your employee brand any harm either.
Now for the important legal part: This information is general and not regulated financial advice for the purposes of the Financial Markets Conduct Act 2013. Please seek independent legal, financial, tax or other advice in considering whether the content in this article is appropriate for your goals, situation or needs. The information in this article is current as at 28 June 2022.
About Helen
Helen van Orton is the Chair of the HR Institute of NZ, and an Independent Director of the Co-operative Bank, Co-operative Life Ltd, Centrix Group Ltd and Zeal (a not-for-profit youth organisation).
Helen has over 15 years of executive leadership experience with a focus on customer operations, customer experience, digital transformation and marketing, gained while working for brands such as Air New Zealand, Vodafone, Lotto, Westpac and American Express.
