How to have that flexible working conversation with your employer
Increase the chance of winning the support of your manager or employer while you’re on parental leave with this handy step-by-step guide to having flexible working conversations in the workplace.
By Dr Ellen Joan Ford, founder of the #workschoolhours movement
Most workplace operating rhythms weren’t designed for modern working parents. The traditional 40-hour workweek became commonplace in the early 1900s - 120 years ago!
It’s not unreasonable to ask for these guidelines to be changed to suit your family. It may be that the only thing standing in between you and better work-life balance is a well-intentioned conversation with your manager. By front-footing this conversation, you could change your family’s life and pave the way for dozens of other parents you work with.
Whether you want to restructure how you work your 40-hour week, request a permanent work from home arrangement or join the #workschoolhours movement, here’s a step-by-step conversation guide for you.
Step 1: Front up with empathy
When preparing for this conversation, put yourself in your manager or people leader’s shoes. Think about what their concerns might be and how you can allay them.
Try these ones out to start with:
What are your manager’s priorities?
How is your manager’s performance assessed?
What pressures do your team and manager come under?
What keeps your manager awake at night?
Why this works: We’re all human. Having compassion for a colleague and displaying an awareness of how our actions impact them will go a long way, especially in a team environment.
Step 2: Frame the conversation
Take those discovery notes you’ve written above and use them to frame the conversation. This will ensure you’re speaking productively, instead of bringing them a problem to be solved.
It might be tempting to say: "I'm finding it really tough to do my work, make it to daycare pick up, squeeze in time for the gym...."
Try this instead: "I understand our priorities are [XXX] and I’d like to talk about how I can change the way I work and still achieve these goals for the team."
Why this works: Rather than bringing your manager a laundry list of problems, you’re acknowledging their perspective and reassuring them that you’ll achieve what needs to be done.
Step 3: Focus on outcomes
Once you’ve clarified the outcomes, then you can pitch your flexible working request as a trial.
It might be tempting to say: “Great, can we change to a permanent flexible arrangement starting next week? I’ll send an email letting everyone know…”
But try this instead: “I can achieve that. For the next month, I’d like to try completing my deliverables within the standard school hours so I can be there for my kids. Let’s schedule a time to meet again in a month to evaluate how I’m meeting my objectives.”
Why this works: A trial period de-risks the request for your manager and makes it harder for them to turn down your proposal. It also allows you to tweak arrangements as you go.
Pro-tip: Give your manager visibility over your work, particularly if you’re a knowledge worker whose manager has limited insight into your process. Pop it into software that you both have access to. Some recommended by Crayon are: Trello, Notion, and Monday.
Step 4: Evaluate the trial
If you get the green light for a trial, then it's on you to do a great job so your manager and your team are comfortable with the arrangement.
At the end of the trial period, make sure you have that feedback meeting. If there's any uncertainty you could suggest: “Let’s make these adjustments and extend the trial to three months, and evaluate again.”
My final pro tip: It takes courage to have this conversation and to challenge the status quo. To feel confident in your conviction, practice the conversation with a friend, partner or mentor. It feels weird to start with, but it works!
Crayon’s Parental Leave Toolkit has handy guides to help both you and your manager have these important conversations.
Now for the important legal part: This information is general and not regulated financial advice for the purposes of the Financial Markets Conduct Act 2013. Please seek independent legal, financial, tax or other advice in considering whether the content in this article is appropriate for your goals, situation or needs. The information in this article is current as at 21 June 2022.
About Ellen
Dr Ellen Joan Ford is an ex-army academic business mum, with expertise in leadership, wellbeing and the future of work.
Ellen’s goal is to help organisations better meet the needs of their employees and the community while improving staff retention, productivity, innovation, leadership performance, inclusion and diversity and wellbeing.
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