Find your family home: A wish list for parents

Upgrading the family home is often a consideration for new and expecting parents, and it’s understandable — you want to create a safe, nurturing space to raise your growing family. So, what should you consider when buying a new family home or making changes to your existing property? Here’s a wishlist of things to think about to help you with the process.

Steph’s experience of upgrading the family home

It’s funny how a baby can suddenly make your home feel smaller. That’s how I felt when my daughter arrived. We planned to have another child, we wanted our family to visit as much as possible, and I yearned to live on a quieter street. So with a little bub in tow, we bundled everything up and made the move across town.

Something about your baby's arrival increases the desire to have a place you can call your own and see your family grow up in. Many families become homeowners around the time they have a child.

But it’s also the biggest expense of raising a child - in fact, housing accounts for a whopping 29% of child-rearing costs (US Department of Agriculture). Your home is where you’ll spend the most time together as a family, and if you’re a homeowner, it’s likely to be your biggest asset too.

What’s right for your growing family will be influenced by your lifestyle, parenting choices and how long you intend to stay in this home. Whether you’re seeking stability or space, our hope is to provide you with a list of things you might not have valued in a home before you had kids (shout out to Natalie for prompting this article and the experts and Kiwi parents who contributed their considerations). Knowing that we all have to make trade-offs, the list is ordered from things that are more difficult to less difficult to change once you’ve bought the property.

We’d love to hear from you in the comments - what was important to you when buying the family home? Was there anything you wish you had known?

Things you can’t change about your family home

Location: The good news is that there is only one thing you truly can’t change: where the home is! And it turns out that from a parenting perspective, this one really matters. Renowned Harvard economist Raj Shetty and his team found that the location of the family home drives 25% or more of children’s long-term outcomes. The greater the number of positive role models, the better the neighbourhood. You can read more about it here.

In addition to the neighbourhood, families may also want to consider the following:

Proximity to family and friends: for support such as babysitting and for social interaction to bring balance to your life!
Commute to work, both time and ease: your time is precious. Also, a longer commute might mean more childcare costs and more logistical puzzles in coordinating after-school activities.
The quality of early childhood care and schools. Most people send their child to a daycare centre within 2 km from work or home, so it’s worth looking into your options (check out our handy article on childcare costs). Also, check which schools you’re zoned for and the quality of those schools if you plan on sending your child to the local public school.
Sense of community: parks and libraries are particularly great when the kids are young; sports facilities and after-school offerings become more prominent with school-aged kids.
The type of street the property is on: the main road might be convenient but also potentially more hazardous for young children or incredibly noisy. If you’re unsure, visit during commuting hours to see what it’s like.
Any pre-existing issues with the home: it can be tempting to skip a building inspection - after all, it’s one more thing to add to your to-do list and one more cost to bear. However, if you find something wrong with the property after you’ve purchased it, you could face a big headache, especially if your insurer won’t cover it because it’s counted as a pre-existing condition, e.g., mould that the previous owners painted over.
Insurability: look into insurance before you buy. Home insurance companies estimate the likelihood that you will make a claim when deciding to insure a property. You might discover that the insurer charges a higher premium for your desired property - or worse, won’t insure the property at all - because of the location of the property or the type of dwelling.

Things you can change about your family home (but are potentially expensive!)

This category is centred on the layout of the home - sure, you can change it, but it’s generally not cheap or quick.

Parking and access: you’ll be lugging more stuff from your car to your home, such as groceries, a pram and a child - all at the same time - so consider the distance between where you park your car and the entrance of your property, whether there are stairs involved and how secure the parking is.

Bedrooms: you’ve probably already thought about the number of bedrooms you want, which can be influenced by how many kids you plan to have and whether you’ll be hosting guests regularly for long periods or anticipating having a family member move in with you as their need for care increases.

You may also want your children to share a room. When this starts and when this stops comes down to personal preferences, and it could be that your children share rooms by necessity.

For those who have options, here’s the guidance (again, acknowledging every family is different):

Start sharing: ideally, when the youngest is 2.5 years old because that’s when kids no longer experience sleep regressions, so they’re more likely to sleep soundly and not disturb the other child (if only every night were like that!).
Move into separate rooms: this depends on where your children are developmentally, particularly around puberty. General guidelines from the UK government suggest that children of the opposite sex have their own bedroom around age 10 and children of the same sex around age 16.

If children want their own bedroom, but that’s not possible, give them each a specified space to keep clothes and other belongings in the bedroom. They also need a private space to change to avoid awkwardness.

Another key consideration is the location of the bedrooms. Medical professionals recommend babies sleep in a separate sleeping area in the same room as their parents for the first six to twelve months to reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome. Even after that, you’ll go through patches where you’re up multiple times a night with your kids, so you’ll want to avoid running up and down stairs or to the other end of the home.

Bathrooms: generally speaking, families want at least two bathrooms to make it faster for everyone to get out the door in the morning (or at least two toilets). And if you have more than one young child, a bath can make life easier.

Play areas: as your child grows more independent, they’ll benefit from a safe play space. This can also vary with your climate. For example, if you live in an area with long, harsh winters, you’ll likely prioritise a good indoor play area. Whereas if you live in a warmer climate, you’ll likely place a premium on outdoor space.

Think about where you and your kids will spend the most time because you’ll want to secure the area and have a line of sight, especially when they’re young and/or you have a pool.

Work areas: flexible working arrangements can make life a lot easier for parents. With this in mind, think about whether you need a dedicated office space away from all the commotion in the living areas to minimise disruptions (we know that’s not always possible!) or an office nook in the main living area.

Flexibility to convert rooms and/or ability to add space: if you’re planning to stay in the home for years, consider how your use of spaces might change over time. For example, a playroom could be used as a study area or workspace as the kids get older. Or you may want to extend the dwelling to accommodate your growing family.

Things you could change about your family home with some cost involved

Storage: new parents are often surprised by the sheer amount of stuff they accumulate - toys, books, sporting equipment etc. Storage is your friend! If the property you like doesn’t have great storage, think about how easy it’ll be to install your own.

An added bonus is a play space that you can close the door on for the days you just can’t be bothered to tidy up.

Thermal comfort – heating, ventilation and insulation: babies have a harder time regulating their body temperature, and they can’t tell us when they’re too hot or cold. One of the first things we did when our daughter arrived was install a new heating system.

Curtains: young children sleep better when light is blocked out. If you don’t want to replace the window dressings, you can buy travel blackout blinds.

Safety considerations for your family home

This is particularly pertinent for families with young children. In addition to having a line of sight in commonly-used areas, consider the following:

Children cannot easily climb out of windows or balconies.
Stairs can easily be childproofed with a gate (we visited friends with “floating stairs” and I spent the evening worried my child would slip through).
Any water features can be fenced off - not just a swimming pool but also a small pond or creek.
You can easily prevent children from wandering onto the road.

The most important thing about your family home

Getting on the property ladder is hard (we’ll cover off the bank of mum and dad another time). In the heat of the buying process, it’s worth remembering which features are most important to you and which ones you can flex on. Ultimately, the memories your child will have of the home are the ones you create for them.

And if you have any lessons learnt you’d like to share with the Crayon community, please comment below!

Now for the important legal part: The information we provide is general and not regulated financial advice for the purposes of the Financial Markets Conduct Act 2013. Please seek independent legal, financial, tax or other advice in considering whether the content in this article is appropriate for your goals, situation or needs. The information in this article is current as at 15 November 2022.