How I did it: Mela Lush on becoming a founder on parental leave

Mela Lush is a mother-of-two (under 3!) and the founder of Jobs For Mums, the number one job site for family-friendly work in New Zealand. After carving a successful career as a marketing executive, Mela left the financial security of her regular paid employment to start Jobs For Mums. Mela shares the highs and lows of her parenthood and entrepreneurship journey with Crayon founder Stephanie Pow.

In our series How I Did It, friends of Crayon share their personal stories about how they tackled one aspect of their personal finances. While their journey is specific to their situation, we hope it inspires you to take action. Just keep in mind that, as always, Crayon and our guests are not providing financial advice.

Can you tell me about your first parental leave experience?

I remember my last work day well because the government announced we would enter the first Covid-19 lockdown. Little did I know what was coming for us.

I was so excited to become a parent. I had envisioned an amazing birthing experience, loads of cute outfits, and an Instagram-worthy nursery. And it wasn't like that at all for me. I started contracting on a Sunday and had my daughter the following Saturday. It was such a wild ride because no one could come to see me until I was in active labour, so I was in hospital labouring on my own for quite some time before my husband Bryan was allowed to come. My journey into motherhood was quite a traumatic experience. It was also a difficult time filled with a lot of anxiety because the media at the time was showcasing all the possible worst-case scenarios. 

Motherhood was incredibly different to what I imagined it would be like. There’s endless love, and then there’s also the other, more challenging side of parenting that people had told me about, but I didn’t quite understand until I became a parent.

We were luckily in a good financial position at the time, so I was able to spend a year at home with my daughter. Once that year finished, I put her into a massive daycare with 150 other kids, not realising she would get every bug under the sun. 

You fell pregnant again quickly - how did you handle that with work?

I didn’t know when I returned to my full-time role that I was already pregnant again. Even after I found out, I held that pregnancy really close, and I didn’t share my pregnancy news until I was six months along. I had a really wonderful manager, but my inner monologue made me feel guilty about being pregnant again - I’d only just come back, and my daughter was constantly sick, so I had to take time off work constantly. I also had a high-risk pregnancy, so I was in the hospital for a good part of my pregnancy too. On top of that, my husband was also going through a mental health issue (he’s okay now).

This was my aha moment for Jobs For Mums. I'm a Type A personality - I’ve always been really ambitious in my career, and I still wanted to perform even though I was heavily pregnant with a sick toddler and supporting my husband’s mental health. I had this realisation that work, as we traditionally think about it, was almost systematically designed for me to fail. Work-life balance was this mythical creature that I couldn't quite understand. I had worked in leadership for a good ten years before I had my first child. These invisible barriers only became clear to me when I became a parent.

What did parental leave look like the second time around?

I took six months because that was all I was entitled to under the law. I only just qualified for government-paid parental leave by a week! I wanted to change the system, so I left my job after parental leave.

How did you decide to take the leap to start Jobs For Mums?

Ultimately, the decision for me came down to my need for flexibility. I was commuting about two hours each way to work. In fact, when I was heavily pregnant, I had to plan restaurant stops along the way so that I could use the bathroom! Even before Covid-19, I had some flexibility to work from home, which was more unusual then. But now that I had two under two, I couldn't see myself commuting two hours each way again. I had to decide based on what my family needed, not just my career goals.

Did you think about getting another job? 

I didn't see any remote jobs catering to my family and career needs, which was another catalyst for Jobs For Mums. Even though I’m well qualified and have multiple years of experience, I lacked the confidence to apply for a role that didn't quite understand my need for flexibility. With my previous employer, I had already earned the trust. But with a new employer, I'd have to build that over again. I realised that there is this invisible barrier - whether it is systemic, in my brain or both.

When you handed in your resignation letter, what stage of development was Jobs For Mums at? 

I'd thought of Jobs For Mums during my first pregnancy. I would work on it while I was at home with the kids, doing things such as building the website, testing different software for the job site, etc. Jobs For Mums was about a month away from launch when I handed in my resignation. 

I had a really strong urge to make a difference. I was part of a mothers’ group, and everyone was saying very similar things to what I was experiencing. It didn't really matter how motivated you were, how qualified you were, or what industry you were in - the biggest driver of your return pathway was actually your ability to negotiate flexibility as well as how effective your manager was.

It didn't feel fair to me that many of us feel like we have to choose between a career and being a parent. Everyone deserves the right to be both if that's what they want. I wanted to create this pathway for people to get back into the workforce or explore different options. 

You've grown the business while your kids are still young. What's been the best and most challenging part of that combination?

The best part is that I'm around for my kids. I get to set my own schedule, and that’s been incredibly helpful. The most difficult part has been the mythical idea of work-life balance. There’s no such thing; really, it's around work-life integration. Some days, the kids suffer because I'm working really long hours; other days, I'm with my kids, so I'm not as proactive on the business.  

What I didn't expect was how much this resonates with other people. I started Jobs For Mums by posting on community groups, and I received 1,500 messages from parents saying that this needs to exist! That’s the fuel that keeps me going, especially when it gets really hard and particularly when I feel like I'm missing out on my kids.

I’m nodding my head vigorously in agreement! What have you learned about managing your work-life integration better? 

I’ve had to learn to tell myself that I'm enough and what I’m doing is enough, whichever way I balance that. Society gives parents a hard time - you're expected to work like you don't have children, and parent like you don't work - and that’s impossible. 

I've been very careful with Jobs For Mums not to make people feel this way. In fact, it’s the opposite - parents are not systemically set up to succeed. Here’s a simple example: school-aged children get more than ten weeks of school holidays, yet working parents only get four weeks of annual leave. This means that no matter what, you will always have to put your kids into some form of outside supervision. Whether this is grandparents, holiday programs, or worst-case scenario, the parents must take unpaid leave. The idea of the village is disappearing. Grandparents are working later in life, and more families live further apart. 

My message is: just be kind to yourself and each other because every parent is fighting an invisible battle. 

Taking the leap from a regular salaried role to doing your own thing brings a lot of uncertainty. If you're comfortable sharing this, have you made this work financially?

That's a good question. I can tell anyone looking to start a business that the journey is not what you think it is. My husband could see this was a passion of mine and supported me in taking the leap while he stayed in full-time work. This work also aligns with our family values.

We didn’t base the decision on me earning income, which has been helpful for me. I'm doing an MBA in real life and making a difference in people’s lives. We've placed over 300 people into employment and have thousands in our community.

There are also lots of free tools out there. I launched my business based on my skill set, which is leadership and marketing. That really cut the costs because I built everything apart from the technical stuff. At the same time, the channels that I approached were not traditional paid channels. Instead, I posted on more than 300 Facebook community groups.

When you look back on your journey, what’s one thing you’ve done really well, and what's one thing you would do differently?

The thing I did well was I deeply understood the problem. I spent time figuring out the barriers for people returning to paid employment and creating practical solutions that work for families and businesses. We’ve built a movement for family-friendly employment. 

What I would do differently is bring people into the movement earlier. I started Jobs For Mums with my young kids in the living room, and originally, I tried to do it all myself. I now have two other amazing co-founders, and we're looking to hire three more people. You don't have to do it alone.

Connect with many different people and explore the great resources available, such as the Ministry of Awesome. I have a mentor who helps me avoid some of the rookie mistakes. I can’t stress enough how critical it is to really embrace diversity. It takes people with different experiences, viewpoints and life skills to challenge your thinking.

Thank you so much, Mela, for sharing your incredible journey. We are cheering you on here at Crayon!

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Now for the important legal part: The information we provide is general and not regulated financial advice for the purposes of the Financial Markets Conduct Act 2013. Please seek independent legal, financial, tax or other advice in considering whether the content in this article is appropriate for your goals, situation or needs. The information in this article is current as at 28 August 2023.

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